Yea, I'm back to this place again, after weeks. Idk, just feel depressed. Maybe due to PMS/something else made my mood swing. Maybe too miss you? Or maybe saw something related to you again.
Time flies day by day. Everyday I have different mood. Sometimes I'll never care about you. Sometimes I will dream of you. Sometimes I'll miss you in the morning. A lot. I hope to know what are to thinking. Hope to cure your wounds, solve your problems, care your heart, wipe of your tears, fight away your fears, answer your doubt. I have no rights to do that all now. Maybe somebody will do that for me, idk.
It is true cannot force to forget a people. I don't know what to do. I can't concentrate. What I did for the past month is wake up in the morning, survive it, and sleep. So, I let God leads me, I will let fate decide. Fate, I trust fate but idk what is fate. It seems like play a fool with me every times. When somebody leaves, turn around, there's another person stand by there for me. This time I'm sure it is not love. I'm sure. Anthony. He appears every time I'm sad. He will talk to me and make me feels better. And we just talk in facebook chat. We're common friends. Every time is the same, everything start with common friend. I was scared thou. For sure, he is not like you, no one can compare to you. I didn't replicate him to you. Just, I feel better after talk to him. That's all. I don't care what he think, just, I like the way he make me happy, at least forget you a lil while. Until, Ryan came to warn, Idk it is warn or not. He doesn't like. He said I'm his bro's ex and Anthony is his bro. He don't like we too close. (although we just met one, and chat twice) But, I agree. If things go on uncontrollably, Anthony will end up be my float, like wei hoong last time. I don't want to hurt anybody again because I'm hurt. And Billy, yea, he cares me, even asked me out. But he has a gf (which is my friend also), so I rejected him. I cannot do such things. Even he knew his gf will hurt but he still don't mind to ask me out, he said we are just friends. Why guys all like that? I believe in Karma. I don't hope my bf to do that to me too. Just because of my limits I lost two ways to make me happy. 难道女人就是要耐得住寂寞，才能搭上幸福的舟？But, I will take this challenge. Studies, is the most important thing to me now. Others, I won't think. Us? decide after I graduate and found a job. I will not do my degree anymore.
You said you're not giving up? Just want to change? Is it true? We'll wait for each other, until we can support each other.
虽然已经没联系差不多两个月了。可是依然感觉默契还是存在的。我要坚持，对自己，对你，我都要坚持。目前，只要你开心就好。我，依然爱你。我们就像咖啡，这三年，不甜，还有点苦。可是回味起来总是有着淡淡的余香。(其实很甜啦，都是甜蜜的负担。) :)
Love, Anna.
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